Warrior Stands

from by Joc Polczynski

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The story of my recovery process through depression, PTSD, et al.



Be advised: the material ahead is not suitable for the faint of heart

The following is based on a true story for millions of people



Warrior stands

taking in the sights

of projects unfinished;

safe in their room,

there is no need to worry -

surrounded by peers — talking, laughing,

functioning in a timely manner —

Responsibilities and obligations come and go,

"But there will always be peace of mind"



Warrior stands

finally seeing through a mature lens —

“it’s not your fault” --

the memories

that should have never

been formed

“Danger! Brain authorization confirmed; self-destruction sequence to commence”



Warrior stands

a shell of a functioning person they are

inside, a brain wreaks havoc

as if controlled by a separate, malicious entity

“Warrior is not real. Warrior must die.”



Warrior stands

vision … cloudy.

Everything goes black.

Thinking; breathing rapid...

"Heart racing... my HEART… IS RACING!"

“Something is wrong!”


World... sp-spinning...

“There’s got to be something wrong with you,

Why do you even try?”



Warrior stands

while subconscious klaxons fire --

“Danger! Danger!”

-- the mind scrambles to find the problem

“Urgent! Cliff ahead! Urgent!”

Eyes scan to see normalcy, before falling…


falling… into an obsessive downward spiral

“Danger! Danger! Crash imminent!”

“Prepare for emergency landing!”



Warrior stands


slouched, eyes glazed,

exhausted from the push and pull

of unconsciously regulating

every. single. thought.

with equal severity and truth


Riddled with scars from a battle unseen,

Warrior with-stands

because others didn’t forget:

our crying is not weakness --

WE pick others up;

WE forgive

WE encourage

WE validate--

so that other warriors

may stand too


and we will stand together

as Warriors, we stand


from Brain Noise, released April 16, 2017
Elyse Brotzman -- vocals
Sarah Clewett -- vocals
Nathan Gornick -- vocals


all rights reserved



Joc Polczynski Appleton, Wisconsin

-Plays drums a lot
-wrote music for a game once
-wants to continue writing music for games

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